Abubilla Music

11.01.14: Jimmy Learns Music – Blog 2

Written by Jimmy

We’re second week into the Journey and all I can say is ‘What the F.’    I’ve got a two faced G, fights between fat people and internet geeks, Bill Cosby has shown up, I’m supposed to avoid barb wire, my C is a fence between two happy families and we have to find and shoot the ‘rests’ guy.  A busy week, I tells you…

I’m trying to write this little blog to make you feel much better about yourself, by showing you a real journey of a musical loser.  I hope it is working for you.  As I did last week, I’ll remind you of the journey, offer a couple actual tips and then point out how bad things are really going.

Part One:  Update on the Journey

I’m trying to stop being a complete idiot in the studio where my sole contribution is to press a little red button and watch others, steeped in the language of music, talk to one another for 8 minutes.  Then they switch back to English and tell me to press the red button off.    So I want to learn their language and am on a mission to learn 1) guitar a bit, 2) piano a bit, 3) percussion a bit, 4) voice a bit and 5) music theory.  I have no natural talent, little work ethic and only periodic desire (generally proportional to my caffeine in take).   I am on the first little road of that journey, still in sight of my house, focusing on guitar (with my friend david), piano (where I’ve mixed David with Nicci and my instant chord maker) and music theory (again working with David and Nicci).  Maybe I should get David and Nicci together since they are spending so much time at my house together.    This week, on that little road, I was confronted by a new and very scary chord (What the F, David!), memorised music’s funny alphabet and sorted my accidentals (emphasis on ‘my’ accidentals — Lewie’s accidenials continue and the sofa looks like a dalmatians coat).

Jimmy works on his accidentals. Lewie Doesn't! Family sofa looks like a Dalmatian's Coat.

Part Two:  Is there Anything Useful I can tell you?

Okay, when I mean useful, let’s remember the audience in mind.   I’m thinking of religious readers of this website that don’t know anything about music.  Hmmm.  So, I fully recognise based on these criteria that I have in mind a very large, empty auditorium.   But, way in the back, with bleeding fingers, is me.  And that’s who I’ll write for.   A person that really doesn’t know anything about music.  So in THAT context, here are my extraordinarily useful tips:

1. Seriously Sort Your Accidentals (I mean it is getting embarrassing) by Sharpening Up and Avoiding the Barbed Wire: According to my first lessons on music theory, it is all really straight forward.    Music is just the alphabet.  A, B, C, D, E, F, G.  Sorted.   And if we could stay in a world of ‘tones’ (steps) life would be easy for me.  But no, we live in music’s little world which is a bit more complex.  So we’ve got semi tones or half steps as well, music’s little ‘accidentals’ and that raises the whole bloody problems of flats and sharps.   And you can go a very long time in a studio listening to a bunch of band members talk about flats and sharps and you know in your little pee sized brain that they are those funny little b’s and number things (#) and you know one goes up and one goes down, but you just don’t know which is which.  And you don’t say anything to them, but you think to yourself – man, I really must sort out these accidentals once and for all.  So this is Jimmy’s ‘Accidentals for Idiots.’  Here it is:   ‘Sharpen Up and Avoid the Barbed Wire.’   What????  Well, that is how I decided to sort my accidentals thank you very much:  Sharps are the little number things that look like barbed wire and when you have a sharp you step up a semitone.   Brilliant.   I’ve got one for flats, but it is a bit redundant if you know the first bit of pure musical magic genius (I might be getting ahead of myself I recognise).   ‘To avoid bees, lay down flat.’   Oh my goodness, I’ve wet myself.  I think that one is actually better.  Anyway, you’re getting all this for free and its worth, well… twice as much!
2. Fat boys against internet geeks, that whole tone tone semitone thing sorted for you. Yep, apparently I have to learn it.  I have an easy peasy way.  Just think of a big fight between fat people and internet geeks that ends happily.    What???  Stay with me, Jimmy. So fat folks go to Weight Watchers.  Internet geeks love the world wide web.   So, Weight Watchers hate World Wide Web guys but all ends happy.  WW hate WWW, end happy.  WW H WWW H.   Whole step, whole step, half step, whole step, whole step, whole step, half step.   Tone, tone, semi tone.  Tone, Tone, Tone, Semi-tone.  Thank you very much.  I’m a gift that keeps on giving!  Works very well for key boards.  I just mapped out each key and as long as I thought about fat folks hating the geeks I happily rode them scales.
3. Figure out how music screwed up the alphabet:   So here’s what I know.  Music notes zip thru alphabet except for accidentals -there are 12 notes and 7 letters which means 5 sharps/flats (or accidentals).  The accidentals aren’t every other letter or something easy and the sharps and flats seem random too.  So I’ve had to memorize the 12 notes for my pee brain.  I came up with this. ‘It’s the Alphabet with those silly Accidents, but Bill Cosby and Ella Fitzgerald are the letters’ friends.   For the rest, it ain’t too hard:  it’s flat, sharp, flat, sharp, and a sharp.’ That tells me to go:  A, B, C, D, E, F.   Now I place the sharps and flats, knowing about Bill and Ella (i.e., no accidents between them.    Here goes:  A, B flat, B, C, C Sharp, D, E  flat, E, F, F sharp, G, G Sharp.    I know the up down bit  from above.  Now, I will obviously need to memorise, but if I get stuck, there I go.  I know I can also do my fat folks and internet geeks, but this way is handy for guitar.  Keyboard you just name as you go.
4. A lot of Friends Around to help me on Music theory, but let’s meet Ricci and an instant chord maker for piano: So this week, moved from just guitar to starting to pick up music theory.   David, at Next Level Guitar, has a lot which is good, but very Guitar oriented.    So, I found Ricci who promised to help a bit — well Ricci is the Ricci from Ricci Adam’s Music Theory and she’s going to be my friend for a while as we go thru Music theory.    Here’s Ricci — click here.   I’m starting with the basics with her on reading music and we’re learning fast.  So if you are a total idiot on music theory and want to start from very beginning, join me with Ricci.    I’m doing one thing for Piano that might be useful to others.  I’m using David and his chord progressions, but playing the chords on piano.   Nicci gives me the theory, but then I jump to this website which gives me all chords in an instant – really good for instant piano chords.  I just bounced back and forth from David, to Nicci to my instant chord friend.    I’m working my slowly thru C scale and all the major, minors and major 7th’s.   And then I try to accompany David thru his long progressions with a slightly different beat to his strum.     One side note.  Someone in music seriously, seriously, seriously let the side down when shaping ‘rest’ symbols.   What is going on here?  I would like to meet them and shove a very bloody index finger in their face!
   

   They put the A Team on notes and timing. Well done. But the team in charge of Rests really blew it! This makes no bloody sense.

Part Three:  No, seriously Jimmy, How is it Really Going?

Not well.    There’s a few serious things that have happened on this journey toward musical beginning-hood.  It is a long journey and the house from which I departed is still in plane site.  But things have been going wrong sense the driveway.

1. What the F, David? A key partner in my journey is my friend David, from Next Level Guitar and he’s awesome and always tells me to ‘rock on’ (which forced me to put on the David Essex video below).   But his whole concept is ‘push you to the next level.’   Emphasis on push.  So last week I complained of bloody fingers, but David told me to persevere and I did, and I WAS going to report that this week I’m all tough and calloused, feeling like a lumber jack who axes trees down with the tips of my fingers.  But then, my friend David showed me the ‘F chord.’  What the F, David, that wasn’t nice at all.   Involves some serious finger tip mutilation on the index finger as I’m supposed to hold down that B and high E with my pointing finger.     So much for tough lumberjack.  Crying like a little baby again with my little bloody index finger.    Thanks David
2. C the fence between happy families and the Two Faced G: So I’m on my little guitar journey, doin’ my little 9 open chords, including that ‘pain in the a’ A chord.    And David tells me to record my troubles in my practice log (yeah, practice and log go to together but not what you’re thinking my friend!).  So I’m supposed to write down hard chord changes and then work on them.  Well G and Cadd9 like each other and bounce back and forth happily.   Even Cadd9 and D are okay.  E to anything is fun.  E likes everyone.  A minor loves E especially. A hates everybody and stays by itself – not a chord change problem; A has ISSUES!    But then there is Mr. C. Mr  C stands between the two families.   Happy A minor and E are looking across the fence of C and see happy G and Cadd9 and D play together.  But C sits there, hard to reach.   A real pain.  Sort of likes’ E with a shared finger.  So I’m fighting this little chord city.  Trying and trying to get G and C to like each other.  Than my friend David says, to make G like C, change your G to a different finger.  And presto, they get along.  But then Cadd9 gets real jealous with the new fingering and falls out of sorts.  Now I really have to learn two different G’s. The one that likes C and the one that likes Cadd9.    My little G is two faced, really.  A slightly different angle for C and for Cadd9.  Hmm.
3. And all the old problems remain: I don’t want to imply that I’ve sorted last week’s problems – just added a ‘What the F’ problem and a ‘two faced G’ to my long list.  The A chord is not the friend of fat fingers and my left hand and right hand want to move on their own doing different stuff.   But I will persevere so that you can feel better about your life.

Part Four:  Odds and Sods: Adding this last bit as a permanent reference library that I’ll keep updating as I find more internet friends.  I’ve found nothing to compare to David for Piano or Percussion, but let me know if you see anything.   But here’s previous blogs and referenced sites:

• Previous Blogs: So that’s it.  For those of you who missed the first blog, 7 January 2011, click here.
• All Referenced Sites:And I’m also going to keep a reference library of my favourite sites:
  • Learning Music Theory:    For the absolute no nonsense basics,  start with Ricci Adamas MusicTheory.net, click here.
  • For Guitar:  Absolutely start with David at Next Level Guitar – sheesh, I’m even using him on piano.  Subscribe, but wait for his deal where he gives you all the song DVD’s free if you do a year.   Click Here.    I would supplement David with Rob at Heartwood; click here.  He’s got a lot of songs and very fast references for strum patterns.
  • For Piano:  Haven’t really started my piano journey yet,  but have found this a great little website for chords (easier than faffing around with a book, if you walk around the house with a lap top.  So for a good ‘chord finder’ go to  Piano Chords and Scales Made Easy.

And now, in the words of my friend David, Rock On Good People:

Jimmy